Personal Story Al Hasan Al Basari

Muslim Commander: ‘Tell me, Khalid, about the ‘Hasan of Basra.’ I think you know him best.’
Khalid: ‘He is a man whose outside is like his inside, whose words are like his actions. When he tells people to do something good, he is the first to do it; and when he advises others not to do something; he is the first to shun it. He has renounced what people have, but they are always in need of him.’

Muslim Commander: ‘Enough have you said, Khalid. No people would go astray while they have a man like him in their midst.’

This short dialogue between a well-known Commander of Muslim armies and a friend of our hero summarized for us in few words the personality of ‘AI-Hasan AI-Basri,’ who is well-known in Islamic history for his truthfulness, authority on matters of religion, words of wisdom, courage and other worldliness.

‘AI-Hasan AI-Basri’ was born in Madinah. His beloved mother was a former bondswoman of ‘Umm-Salama’ the ‘Prophet's’ wife, and his father ‘Yasar’ was a former bondsman to ‘Zaid-Ibn-Thabit,’ one of the scribes of ‘Prophet Muhammad’ (pbuh). His real name was ‘AI-Hasan Ibn-Yasar,’ but he is better known in history by the name ‘AI-Hasan AI-Basri’ (AI-Hasan of Basra). He was indeed a very fortunate child, for though he was born after the death of ‘Prophet Muhammad’ (pbuh), he was literally brought up in the ‘Prophet's’ household, he spent his childhood with his mother mistress ‘Umm-Salama,’ stayed in constant contact with the other widows of the ‘Prophet,’ was educated by their exemplary personalities and conduct and heard first hand reports about the ‘Prophet’ (pbuh). Since Madinah then was still full of the former companions of ‘Prophet Muhammad’ (pbuh) ‘Al-Hassan Al-Basri’ had the golden opportunity to learn about Islam and its teachings directly from those great students and companions of ‘Prophet Muhammad’ (pbuh), including people like 'Uthman-Ibn-Affan’, ‘Abdullah-Ibn-Umar’ and ‘Ali-Bin-Abi-Talib’ (Radhi-Allahu 'Anhum) whose personality and fluency left a special impression on his character.

At the age of fourteen his family moved to Basra in Iraq, where he got the name of AI-Basri. AI-Basra was then one of the major urban centers of culture in the Islamic Empire, and it was full of the former companions of ‘Prophet Muhammad’ (pbuh) who taught the principles and practices of Islam to the thirsty students and masses. ‘AI-Hasan AI-Basri,’ fully utilized the opportunity. Spending all his time in the mosque, learning, especially at the hands of the well-known companion of the ‘Prophet’ (pbuh), 'Abdullah-Ibn-Mas'ood’. Since many people, rulers and masses were greatly influenced by the new wealth and prosperity that followed the expansion of the Muslim State East and Westward, they needed constant reminders of the dangers of overindulgence in worldly affairs and luxury. ‘Al-Hassan Al-Basri’ was one of such reminders. To him, truth had to be said even in the face of tyrants. For a righteous man of Allah like him should have no fear of anyone except his ‘Creator and Master’ (“Allah”). An example of his daring personality is the incident between him and ‘AI-Hajjaj’ who was a notorious tyrannical governor of Iraq. ‘AI-Hajjaj’ built himself a big palace at Wasil, and he invited people to see it (to impress them). The masses crowded the place, full of admiration of the palace.
To ‘Al-Hassan Al-Basri’ this was a golden opportunity to preach to people, warning them of the dangers of tyranny and indulgence in worldly gains. Naturally, AI-Hajjaj was not very happy with his doing. He swore to kill him. So he ordered some of his soldiers to fetch him. Upon entering, he walked with confidence towards ‘AI-Hajjaj’ muttering some prayers. Suddenly, the tyrant was awe-struck and almost unconsciously invited our hero to sit next to him with all humility and respect. Then, he asked about some matters of religion, attentively listening to ‘AI-Hasan's’ answers, while everyone sat in a state of astonishment. Upon leaving the guard of ‘AI-Hajjaj,’ full of surprise at the sudden turn of the events, asked him, "When you entered and saw the sword ready you muttered a few words. What did you say?”

‘AI-Hasan’ answered: "I prayed to Allah: 'O my Master and Protector! Reverse the rage of ‘AI-Hajjaj’ as you changed the fire into coolness and safety for Ibrahim."

Among the many memorable occasions of pious advice offered by ‘Al-Hasan’ to rulers was his encounter with a great governor of Iraq and Persia, 'Umar-Ibn-Hubaira.’ It is reported that ‘Ibn-Hubaira’ used to receive from the Caliph in Damascus orders which smelt of injustice. So he invited two religious scholars, including our hero to seek their opinion and advice. Following are rough translations of our hero's words of advice:
‘Al-Hasan’: ’Ibn-Hubaira!’ “Fear Allah in dealing with Yazeed (the Caliph), and fear not Yazeed in your dealings with Allah. Remember that Allah can protect you from Yazeed, but Yazeed cannot protect you from Allah. A stern angel who never disobeys Allah will come to you taking you from your great and wide palace to the narrow grave, where you will find no Yazeed, but only your wrong actions with which you disobeyed the Lord and Master of Yazeed. ‘Ibn-Hubaira!’ If you are with Allah, He will protect you from the wrath of ‘Yazeed-Ibn-Abdul-Malik’ in this world and in the Hereafter. But if you are with Yazeed in defiance of Allah's commandments, Allah will leave you to the mercy of Yazeed. Remember that one should never obey a creature whoever he might be in disobedience to the Creator."
It was with this type of words of wisdom that he spent his eighty years of pious and ascetic life teaching and preaching, not only to rulers and the masses of his time, but also to all readers of his wise sayings at all times.

Story Of Islam Heroes: ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’

The Slave who became a Teacher, to King (d. 104 A. H 225)

The characteristic typical of all the Muslim heroes was their effort to direct their work for one and only one purpose; i.e. The pleasure of Allah. Whether in the Battle or in the mosque, in the royal courts or in the market-place those heroes conduct never faltered.

‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’ was an eminent personality of the second generation of Muslims who met or attended many Companions of the Prophet (pbuh). ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah was once at the doorsteps of the Umayyad; Caliph ‘Hisham-ibn-Abdul Malik’ in Damascus. Let us listen to what goes on between him and the Caliph.

The Caliph: ‘What can we do for you, Abu Muhammad?’

‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’: ‘The people of the two ‘Harams’ (Mecca and Madinah), the guests of Allah (i.e. pilgrims) and the neighbors of the Messenger, give them their allotted annual gifts.’
The Caliph: ‘We will (Turning to Secretary): ‘Write a decree to that effect. What else, Abu Muhammad?’
‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’: ‘The people of Hijaz and Najd are the heart of the Arabs and leaders of Islam, request that you return to them the surplus of their charity.’
The Caliph: ‘Yes, anything else?’

‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’: ‘Yes. leader of the faithful, the soldiers at the frontiers of the Muslim lands. They are there in the face of your enemies, fighting whoever attempts to attack the land of Islam or hurt the Muslims. These people deserve generous salaries and supplies to be sent to them. For if they are lost our frontiers are gone.’

The Caliph: ‘Yes. (Addressing the Secretary) Write a decree to that effect. Anything else I can do for you?’

‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’: ‘The Non-Muslim subjects living in the Muslim State who, in return for paying tax, enjoyed protection and safety) should not be asked to do things beyond their means. For whatever tax they pay you is a help against the State's enemies’.

The Secretary was ordered to write a decree to that effect.

The Caliph asks: ‘Anything else, Abu Muhammad?’

‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’: “Yes. Fear Allah for your own sake. Remember that you were born alone; you will die alone, will be raised on the Day of Resurrection alone, and you will receive the Judgment alone. No one of your friends or relatives can be of any help at those times."

With these words ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’ bid farewell to the Caliph.

Before going out a man sent by the Caliph offered a pouch full of money for him.

‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’, declined to take the money, quoting from the Qur’an: "I ask you no reward (for the advice). For my reward is with the Lord of the universe."

Now let's go back to the earlier day’s life in Mecca. ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’ was an Ethiopian, born a slave to a Mecca lady. Since his childhood he became interested in learning.

He divided his time into three portions:

*One third he spent in the service of his mistress carrying out his duties as a faithful servant.

*The second portion he devoted to worship and prayers, and;

*The third he devoted to learning whatever he could from the former companions of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him).
The Mecca lady was impressed with her bondsman's devotion. So she set him free, giving him the chance to spend all his time in the Sacred Mosque of Mecca, learning first then teaching and engaged in devotions.

His knowledge and piety earned him a high place in the hearts of the rulers and the ruled alike. Of his knowledge we are told that a great man like 'Abdullah-Ibn-Umar’ was reported to have been surprised that people in Mecca needed to seek religious guidance from anyone while they had a man like ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’ amongst them.

In the presence of  ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’ even the greatest of Muslim Caliphs humbled themselves as we saw in the incident mentioned earlier (where we witnessed the encounter between ‘Hisham-Ibn-Abdul Malik’ and ‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah’).

In Mecca, another Umayyad Caliph, ‘Sulaiman-Ibn-Abdul Malik’, accompanied his two sons to sit humbly in the presence of the ex-slave to listen to his teachings in the sacred Mosque.

When he was asked about the man by his sons.

The Caliph answered, "This was '‘Ata-Ibn-Rabah."

Then he said, "My children seek knowledge. For through knowledge and learning the humble becomes great. The fool becomes wise, and slaves become superior to kings."

He lived about one hundred years and performed pilgrimage (Hajj) no less than seventy times.

Story About Ibn Qayyim AL-Jawziyyah One Of The Student Of Imam Ahmed Ibn Taymiyyah.

Ibn Qayyim AI-Jawziyyah (691-751 A.H.)

"Through patience and poverty one attains leadership in religion. The seeker of truth needs the will that will inspire him and push him upward and (religious) knowledge that will lead him and guide him."

These words of Ibn Qayyim AI-Jawziyyah sum up the personality of this great man, Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr, who is better known as Ibn Qayyim AI-Jawziyyah or Ibn AI-Qayyim, for short. He was born in 691 A.H.

He began his long journey on the road of learning early in his life, moving from one teacher to another to quench his thirst for knowledge. At the age of 21 (in 712 A.H.)  Al-Qayyim met his teacher Ibn Taymiyyah another great hero of Islam and a revivalist of the faith. Their companionship lasted to the end of the teacher's life, Ibn Al·Qayyim kept close company to Ibn Taymiyyah with whom he suffered the pains of prison and flogging many a time.

Apparently, it was from Ibn Taymiyyah that he learnt many special qualities such as frankness and courage, in defiance of the falsehood of others, including those in authority. For to both truths had to be said regardless of the consequences. But unlike his teacher, or Ibn AI-Qayyim was less fierce in his attacks (in words or action). The 8th century' Hijra witnessed a state of ignorance and feuds in the Muslim community. Muslims were fighting each other and each trying to impose his authority in everything including religious opinion and scholarship which suffered from stagnation. For the majority of religious scholars acted more like 'recorders' of knowledge rather than true scholars and teachers. To them their teachers were the main. If not the sale, source of knowledge, and the schools of thought they blindly imitated were the only acceptable ways.

Like his teacher Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn AI·Qayyim spent his life in attempting to correct the wrong course the community was following. He fought the exaggerated reverence for the tombs of the pious despite the strong resistance he met with from the masses. He tried to show the errors committed by the misled sects and their blind followers.

For he considered that the disputes and fights among the Muslims of his time were caused by their sectarian attitude and chauvinistic practices, each one considering himself and his sector school of thought the only right one, and claiming that everyone else was on the wrong path.

Ibn AI-Qayyim spent most of his time and great efforts trying to unite the people, pointing out to them the dangers of blind imitation of the predecessors. He explained that a Muslim should be open-minded; i.e., he should accept what is right and good regardless of the teacher as long as what he or she accepts is consistent with the Qur'an and the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars and the general spirit of the faith. To him imitation was wrong in the following cases: 

1) If it entails violation of Divine teachings.

2) If it represents an act of blind following of people we are not sure of their knowledge.

3) If it is in defiance of truth after finding it.
It was blind imitation that caused stagnation in scholarship and differences among people. Some so-called scholars, he pointed out, were not really scholars of Islam but rather simple propagators of others opinions. To those people the words and views of their teachers or leaders were the only correct way of understanding the faith to the extent that they subjected even the interpretation if the Qur'an and the Prophetic teachings to the views of their teachers, which they wrongly took for the ultimate criteria.
Ibn AI-Qayyim considered that the sources of religious knowledge were to be taken in the following order:

1) The Qur'an. 
2) The Sunnah (Prophet Muhammad's teachings). 
3} The teachings of the companions of the Prophet.
To these one could add consensus of Muslim scholars and analogy. Intolerance and Prejudice were to him the enemies of learning. To propagate his views, Ibn AI-Qayyim wrote scores of books besides direct teaching.
In his own private life Ibn AL-Qayyim was a very pious and sincere worshipper who spent most of his time in prayers and recitation of the Qur'an. He was in fact an ascetic who rejected the unorthodox practices of some Sufis (mystics) who claimed that religious teachings had external and internal sides, meaning that religious obligations (such as Prayers, Fasting During Ramadan etc. etc.) did not apply to them.

As pointed out earlier Ibn AI-Qayyim was a man of courage and frankness to whom truth was the ultimate goal. His open-minded and flexible attitude is reflected in his views on the correct understanding of religious laws (Sharia), and that these should be interpreted in the light of the circumstances of time and place, because Islam is intended and practicable for all mankind at all times. He wrote many books to explain this invaluable principle. Many of his views find their application in the legal system of modern nations more than six centuries after his death in 751 A.H.

Story About Shaikh-ul-Islam Imam Ahmad Ibn Taymiyyah.

SHAIKH·UL·ISLAM IMAM AHMAD IBN TAYMIYYAH

Revivalist of Islam (661-728 A.H.)

We are a people who love goodness for everyone. We like to see Allah bringing you the best of this world and that of the hereafter. For the best way to worship Allah is by giving counsel and advice to his creatures. This was the purpose of all the Prophets and Messengers from Allah. And there is nothing better than advice in matters of the relation between man and his Creator. Man is certainly destined to meet with his Lord, and he is going to be questioned about his duties. All the Christians know that when he talked to the Tartars concerning the captives in their lands, Ghazan and Katloushah released them.

I talked to the king about those captives, and he allowed the release of the Muslims only and said to me, ‘We have some Christians that we captured in Jerusalem, these we are not going to release.'
I told him, 'But you release all the Jewish and Christian captives because they are under the protection of Islam. And we will leave no captive if he is a Muslim or Christian.' Thus, we caused the release of many Christians from captivity.

This ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ did only for the sake of Allah whose rewards everyone seek. "Besides, everyone knows about the Christian captives in our hands and how kindly and charitably we treat them in accordance with the teachings of the last of the Prophets, ‘Prophet Muhammad’ (peace be upon him). The above mentioned words are quotations from a letter written by ‘Ibn Taymiyyah,’ to King Sirjwan of Cyprus in which he tried to explain the basic views of the Islamic faith to a Christian ruler.

But who was ‘Ibn Taymiyyah?’

‘Ibn Taymiyyah,’ who is known by the title of Sheikh-ul-Islam (The eminent Scholar of Islam) is one of the leading thinkers of Islam and a revivalist of its pristine teachings at a time when the Muslim world was going through one of its darkest times, being under attack by the ruthless Mongol Tartars from the East (who destroyed everything and everyone who stood in their heavy flow from Central Asia) and the fierce Crusaders from the West. Hundreds of thousands of books were thrown by the Tartars into the rivers of Tigris and Euphrates until the waters of these rivers became black with the ink in those books. On the cultural scene many Muslim scholars were busy summarizing and explaining the works of their ancestors with hardly any worthwhile contribution.

In religion, again many unorthodox ideas had crept in from un-Islamic philosophies and foreign thoughts. The theologians were plagued by the ideas of the Mu'tazilites and other misguided sects. The jurists were at a standstill in the understanding and application of the legal spirit of Islam, blindly imitating the opinions of their predecessors. The masses were thus left in total darkness, misguided by agnostic Sufism and their practices, such as exaggeration in worshiping tombs of the pious and the Saints to the extent of almost worshipping them besides Allah. It was in those circumstances that ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ was born. ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ was born in 661 A.H. (1263 G.)in Harran (near Damascus). His family was a people of learning and teaching, both its male and female members being well known for their contribution to religious education. Since his childhood ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ was known for his great intelligence, strong memory and insatiable thirst for learning. No wonder then that he started research and writing at the age of nineteen. At the age of 21 his father died, and he replaced him in the post of teaching Fiqah (Islamic law or jurisprudence) and Tafseer (Quranic exegesis or commentaries).

When he announced in 696 A.H. his views on certain theological issues, some theologians (whose understanding was contaminated by foreign philosophical ideas) started annoying him. ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’s’ views on the divine attributes enraged some theologians who had him called to court in Egypt and imprisoned there.

It seems that his courage and frankness in attacking unconventional interpretations of Islamic teachings in areas of theology, jurisprudence and spirituality caused many problems for him. For ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ made it his job to correct the wrong views prevalent at his time despite the fierce resistance he met with from many religious scholars. He felt it’s his duty to unify the Muslims around orthodox and pristine Islamic teachings, of Ahl-ah-Sunnah-wal-Jama'ah by fighting against polytheists and innovations in religion (bid'ah) and purifying the religion from interpretations and practices alien to it, taking only the Qur'an and Sunnah or Prophetic traditions as the only reliable sources. ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ suffered a great deal because of this, but he never hesitated or faltered.

History tells us that the enemies of ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ not only caused the authorities to imprison him on many occasions but also they even tried to have him killed by reporting to Sultan-an-Nasser faking that ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ was using the masses love and admiration for him to usurp the throne. An-Nasser Lideeni-Liah ordered that he brought to him.



He told him, "I have been told

that people listen to you, and that you are seeking my kingdom.

‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ answered, "I do that? By Allah your kingdom and the kingdoms of all the Moguls are not worth a single penny to me."

The Sultan was impressed by our hero's answer and was convinced of the falsehood of the allegation. But intelligence, knowledge, courage and frankness were not the only things for which he known. He was also known for his otherworldliness and unlimited generous to the extent that he would give the clothes he had on to a needy person.

‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ was not only an active teacher, but he was also a creative writer of in-depth knowledge as well. So when he died in 728 A.H. (at the age of 67). He left scores of volumes of writings on various topics including comparative religion. One of his masterpieces is well known, namely "Fatawa·lbn-Taymiyyah”, (The religious Rulings and verdicts of ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’) which has been published in 36 volumes, several times.

’Ibn Taymiyyah’ is reported to have said, 'The (real) prisoner is the one whose heart has been kept away from remembering his Lord, and the (real) captive is the one who has been captivated by his whims and desires."

His disciple Ibn-ul·Oayyim, reports that he, i.e. ‘Ibn Taymiyyah’ used to say, when he was imprisoned in ‘AI-Qalah’ prison in Damascus, "What on earth can my enemies do to me? My Paradise is in my heart and accompanies me wherever I go. My imprisonment is (in fact) seclusion (which helps me worship Allah better) my killing is (in fact) martyrdom and my deportation from my country is (in fact) seeing the world.”

Prophets Methods of Correcting Mistakes - Paying attention to things that are inherent in human nature

An example of this is the jealousy of women, especially m the case of co-wives, some of whom may make mistakes that, if they were made by anyone else under normal circumstances, would be treated quite differently. The Prophet (SAW) used to pay special attention to the issue of jealousy among his wives and the mistakes that were made by them as a result, and the patience, justice and fairness with which he handled the matter are plain to see. An example of this is the report narrated by Bnkhan in his Saheeh from Anas (RA), who said: “The Prophet (SAW) was with one of his wives when another of the Mothers of the Believers (Prophet’s wives) sent a big vessel full of food to him. The wife in whose house the Prophet (SAW) was struck the hand of the servant, and the vessel fell and broke into two pieces. The Prophet (SAW) picked up the pieces and put them together, then he gathered up the food that had been in the vessel and said, ‘Your mother is jealous.’ Then he asked the servant to wait and gave him a whole vessel belonging to the wife in whose house he was, and kept the broken vessel in the house of the one who had broken it”158

According to a report narrated by an-Nasa’i (Kitab 'hhmt an-Ntsa j. Umm Salamah brought some food in a vessel belonging to her to the Messenger of Allah and his Companions, then ‘A’ishah came wrapped in a garment, carrying a stone, which she threw and broke the vessel. The Prophet (SAW) put the two halves back together and said, “Eat, your mother is jealous” he said it twice, then he took ‘A’ishah’s vessel 

and sent it to Uinm Salamah, and gave Umm Salamah’s vessel to ‘A’ishah.

According to a report narrated by ad-Darimi (Kitab al- Buyoo Bab man kasara shay’an fa 'alayhi mithluhu) from Anas he said: “One of the wives of prophet (SAW)sent him a vessel in which was some thareed (a dish of sopped bread, meat and broth), when he was in the house of one of his other wives who struck the vessel and broke it. The Prophet (0J started to pick up the thareed and put it back into the broken vessel, saying, ‘Eat, your mother is jealous...’ ”

Women's jealousy is an inherent part of their nature that may cause them to do bad things and prevent them from seeing the consequences. It is said that when a woman is jealous, she cannot sec the bottom of a valley from its top.

Conclusion

Following this exploration of the Sunnah and the methods which the Prophet (*SAW) used in dealing with people’s mistakes, we should conclude by mentioning the following points:

—            Correcting mistakes is obligatory and very important. It is part of an-naseehah (giving sincere advice) and forbidding what is evil, but it should be remembered that Islam is not only about forbidding what is evil; we are also commanded to enjoin what is good.

—            Education and training are not merely the matter of correcting mistakes. They also involve teaching and showing the basic principles of religion and the rules of skaree ‘ak, and using various methods to establish these concepts firmly in people’s minds and hearts, by example, exhorting them, telling stories, or by discussing incidents, etc. From this, it is elear that some parents and teachers are falling short by confining their efforts only to addressing mistakes without paying due attention to teaching the basics or dealing with mistakes before they happen by instilling that which will protect people from committing mistakes in the first place, or at least reduce their impact.

—            It is clear from the incidents and stories mentioned above that the Prophet (SAW) used different approaches in dealing with different mistakes. This is because circumstances and personalities vary. Whoever understands this and wants to follow suit must compare the situation he is dealing with to these examples to find the one that most closely resembles it, so that he can determine the most appropriate approach to use.

We ask Allah, may He be Glorified and Exalted, to guide us and protect us, to make us openers of the doors of good and closers of those of evil, and to guide others through us, for He is the All-Hearing, the Ever-Near, Who answers prayers. He is the Best of supporters and the Best of helpers, and He is the Guide to the Straight Path. May Allah bless the unlettered Prophet (SAW), all his family and Companions and Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.

Prophets Methods of Correcting Mistakes - Denouncing only the mistake whilst accepting the rest

It may be the case that not all of what a person says or does is wrong, so it is wise to limit our denunciation only to that which is wrong, and not to generalize by condemning everything that is said or done as being wrong. This is indicated in the report narrated by Bukhari in his Saheeh from ar-Rubayyi‘ bint Mu‘awwadh ibn ‘Afra’, who said:

“The Prophet came and entered, and sat down on my bed the way you sat down. Some young girls of ours began beating on the daff (hand-drum) and singing songs eulogizing those of our forefathers who had been killed at Badr. Then one of them said, ‘Among us there is a Prophet who knows the future.’ The Prophet said; ‘Do not say that; say what you were saying before.’ ”110

According to a report narrated by At-Tirmidhi:

“...The Messenger of Allah said to her: ‘Do not say this; say what you were saying before.’”111

According to a report narrated by Ibn Majah, he (the Prophet) said:

“Do not say this, say; no one knows the future except Allah.”112

There is no doubt that this kind of treatment makes the person feel that the one who is striving to point out mistakes and correct them is fair and just, and this makes him more likely to accept his advice. This is in contrast to some of those who want to denounce errors, but get so angry with the mistake committed that they go to extremes in their denunciation and condemn everything done and said by the one who has made the mistake, good and bad alike. This makes the person reject what they say and refuse to follow their advice.

In some cases, the mistake is not m the words themselves, but in the occasion or context in which they are uttered. For example, when somebody dies, one person may say, “al~ Fatihah and everyone present will recite it. They believe that there is nothing wrong with this because what they are reciting is the Qur’an, not words of kufr. It has to be explained to them that what is wrong with this action is thinking that we should recite al~ Fatihah on such occasions as an act of worship without any shares‘ah evidence for doing so, which is the essence of bid'ah. This is what Ibn ‘Umar pointed out to a man who sneezed beside him and said, “al-Hamdu Lilian was-salam ‘ala Rasool Allah (praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah).” Ibn ‘Umar said, “I could say, ‘al-Hamdu Lillah was- salam ‘ala Rasool Allah, but this is not how the Messenger of Allah taught us. He taught us to say, 1al-Hamdu Lillah 'ala kulli hal (Praise be to Allah whatever the circumstances may be).”113

The marriage of Ali and Fatimah

After the Prophet’s marriage to A’ishah, prominent companions of messenger came forward asking for the hand of his daughter, Fatimah in marriage. They had abstained from doing so while she and her sister had had the responsibility of his household.

 Abu Bakr and then Umar successively asked for Fatimah’s hand in marriage, but the messenger of ALLAH gently and graciously asked both of them to excuse him for not being able to grant their request. Umar then suggested Ali to come forward and win the honor of being the Prophet’s son-in-law.

Ali asked him, “do you think that the messenger of ALLAH will accepts ‘Ali’s’ proposal after he had refused the proposals of his two companions, Abu Bakr and Umar?”

In reply, Umar reminded him of his early acceptance of Islam, his family relationship with ALLAH’s messenger and his position in thee Prophet’s estimation. He continued to persuade Ali until he was convinced.

 Ali went to the messenger of ALLAH and bashfully sat close to him. Unable to state the purpose of his visit, he sat there for a long time without saying a word. He was reluctant to make his request, fearing that it might b rejected.

 The messenger of ALLAH looked at him gently, with a smiling face, and then asked, “what is the matter, so of Abu TAlib?”

 Ali replied in a very ylow voice and with extreme shyness, “I am asking for the hand of Fatimah, the daughter of ALLAH’s messenger, in marriage.”
The Prophet responded with a bright face saying, “welcome!”
Ali took his leave, unable to believe his ears.

 When some of those who knew of the matter asked him what had been the outcome, he told them, “I talked to the messenger of ALLAH about the messenger of ALLAH about the matter and he said, welcome!”

The following day, Ali went to the messenger of ALLAH and repeated the same request for confirmation. The messenger of ALLAH asked him, “do you have anything (to offer as the mahr)?”

Ali answered in the negative. The messenger of ALLAH asked him, “where is your khatami armoured plate that I gave you?” he replied that he still had it.

When he bought it, the messenger of ALLAH asked him to sell it so that he could use the money for Fatimah’s trousseau. Uthman bought the armor plate from him for four hundred and seventy dirham. Ali gave the money to the messenger of ALLAH.

 The messenger of ALLAH gave part of the money to bilal to buy some perfume and gave the rest to Umm Salamah to buy things that the bride might need. He look at Anas, his servant, and told him, “go and call Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, Talhah, Zubayr and a number of the Ansar.”

 He then went in to inform his daughter that Ali had come forward to ask for her hand in marriage. Fatimah shyly kept silent, and that was the sign of acceptance. The messenger of ALLAH came out and found the elder companions present.

He then addressed them, saying “all praise is due to ALLAH, who is praised for His blessings, worshipped by His might and obeyed by His authority. He is the only protector against His own punishment, and the only one whose command I implemented in the heaven and in the earth. He created his creatures with his power and gave them glory through the adherence to his religion. He honored them with his messenger Muhammad (S.A.W.).” “indeed, ALLAH has made the marriage relationship the means of maintaining human progeny. He has made it an obligation and a comprehensive blessing.

He connects, through marriage, kinship, and makes joining the ties of kinship obligatory upon people, ALLAH says: ” {and it is he who has created human beings from water, and has appointed for them kindred by blood, and kindred by marriage. And you Lord is Ever All-Powerful to do what He wills. } [QUR’AN 25: 54] “AND FOR EVERY MATTER, THERE IS A Decree. ALLAH blots out what He wills and confirms what he wills. And with Him is the Mother of the Book” “indeed, ALLAH has commanded me to give Fatimah in marriage to Ali, and I take you as witnesses that I have done so based on his bridal gift of four hundred dirham, if Ali agrees to that. This is the established sunnah and an obligation.

May ALLAH join them together in peace, and make their children gateways of mercy, treasures of wisdom and sources of security for the Ummah.” “This is what I have to say, and I beseech ALLAH to forgive me and you.” The messenger of ALLAH then ordered that a try of dates be presented to the guests, and he told them to pass it around. Ali then joined them. The messenger of ALLAH smiled and told him, “Ali, ALLAH has commanded me to give Fatimah to you in marriage; and I have done so far a bridal gift of four hundred dirham.” Ali said, “I agree, messenger of ALLAH.”

 Then Ali prostrated in gratitude to ALLAH. When he raised his head, the messenger of ALLAH addressed him saying, “may ALLAH bless you bless your efforts. May he bring from you many lovely children.” The invocation was accepted, for it was the supplication of a Prophet, an invocation of the leader of the messengers. ALLAH indeed brought from them many lovely children.

 That was the marriage of Ali and Fatimah, which was witnessed by a group of eminent companions. Ali lived happily in his marriage with the daughter of greatest creature, Muhammad (S.A.W.).

Why do we search for skills?

Once I visited a deprived town to deliver a lecture, after which there came to me a teacher from outside the town.

He said, "I hope you can help us with finance to some students"

I said, "Strange! Aren't the schools government funded, and therefore free?"

He said, "Indeed they are, but we would like to fund their universities education.”

I said, "Well, the universities are also government funded. They even offer student grants."

He said, “Allow me to explain to you..."

I said, "Go ahead.”

He said, "Our students graduate from their secondary school with no less than 99%. They are so clever that if their intelligence was divided amongst the ummah, it would suffice!

But when a student becomes determined to travel outside his town to study Medicine, Engineering, Islamic Law, Computer Science or anything else, his father prevents him from going, saying, 'What you know is sufficient! Now, stay with me and be a shepherd.’

I screamed unexpectedly, "Be a shepherd?!"

He said, "Yes, a shepherd!"

And indeed, the poor boy stays with his father and becomes a shepherd, while all his abilities are wasted. Years go by and he remains a shepherd. He may even get married and have children whom he may treat exactly as he was treated by his father. Hence, all his children also become shepherds!

I asked, "So what's the solution?"

He said, "The solution is to convince the father to employ someone as a shepherd for a few hundred riyals, which we will pay, and allow his son to take full advantage of his skills and abilities. Of course, we will also continue to fund his son until he graduates.'

The teacher then lowered his head and said, "lt is inexcusable that such skills and talents in people are wasted when they long to utilise them. "

I contemplated upon what he had said and realized that we cannot reach the pinnacle except by taking advantage of the abilities we have and acquiring those that we do not.

Yes, I would challenge anyone to find a successful person, be a successful in academia, preaching, lecturing, business, medicine, engineering, or influencing others; or be a successful in family life, such as a successful father with his children, or a successful wife with her husband; or be a successful in their social life, such as a person who is successful with his neighbours and colleagues and I mean a truly successful person, Not one, ‘Who simply climbs upon others' shoulders! I would challenge anyone to find me any such highly successful person who does not practise certain interpersonal skills through which he has been able to achieve such success, whether they realise it or not.

Some people may exercise such interpersonal skills instinctively, while others may have to learn them in order to be successful, and these latter people are the types of successful personalities whose lives we would like to study and whose methods we would closely seek to follow in order to discover how they were successful, and to find out whether or not we can take their route to success.
 

A while ago, I listened to an interview with one of the most affluent people in the world, ‘Shaykh Sulayman al Rajihi’ and found him to be a mountain in terms of his manners and thoughts. This man owns billions, possesses immense real estate, has built hundreds of mosques, and has sponsored thousands of orphans. He is hugely successful. He spoke of his humble beginnings around fifty years ago, when he was a regular person who would only have enough money to feed himself for the day, and sometimes not even that.

He mentioned that he would sometimes seen people's houses to feed himself and continue working at night at a shop or money exchange. He discussed how he was once at the bottom of the mountain, and how he continued to climbed until he reached the summit.

I thought about the abilities and skills he possesses and realised that many of us are well capable of being like him, if Allah grants us the ability. If one learns these skills, exercises them, perseveres and remains steadfast, then yes, he can surely be like him.

Another reason for us to search for these skills is that some of us may have certain abilities, which we remain unaware of, or which nobody has assisted us in discovering, such as the skills of delivering a lecture, business insight, or possessing general knowledge.

One may discover these skills on his own, through a teacher's or a work colleague's help, or even through a sincere brother, however few they may be! However, these skills may remain buried inside the person until his personality becomes as stale as anyone else's, and this is when we all lose out on another leader, lecturer or scholar, or perhaps a successful husband, or a caring father.

Here we will mention certain skills which we would like to remind you of if you already possess them, or which we would like to train you in if you don't.

So come along!

A thought: When you climb a mountain, look to the top and not to the rocks that Scroll round you. Make sure of where you step as you climb and do not leap in case you lose your footing.

What are we going to learn?

People generally tend to share their moments of happiness and sorrow. They are happy when they become wealthy. They will be joyous when promoted at work, content when they’re cover from illness, and cheerful when the world smiles at them and fulfills their dreams.

Likewise, they all grieve over illness, disgrace and loss of wealth. Knowing this to be the case, let us look for ways in which to make our joy everlasting and hence overpower our sorrows. Yes, in reality life tends to be both sweet and bitter, and on this we would not disagree, but why do we often focus on our ca­lamities and sorrows, and as a result become depressed for days on end? Where an hour is enough to grieve over something, hours on end are spent grieving.

Why?

I realise that sorrow and anguish enter our hearts without seeking permission, but for each door of sadness that opens there are a thousand means of shutting it, and these are what we will expound here.

Here we will learn how to be amazing.

Why was it that when your cousin spoke at the gathering, everyone listened to him attentively? Why were they amazed at his manners of speech? Why was it that when you spoke, they all turned away and began to talk amongst themselves? Why was that? You may be more well informed, better qualified and possess a higher status than him.  How then did he manage to get all the attention and you failed?

Why is it that one father is dearly loved by his children who love to greet him and accompany him wherever he goes, while another father begs his children to accompany him while they keep making all kinds of excuses to avoid doing so?

Are they not both fathers? Then why the difference?

Here we will learn how to enjoy life, know the various techniques to attract people, influence them, persevere with their faults, deal with people with bad manners, and much, much more. So, welcome! 

A word: Success is not to discover.  what others like, it is to acquire

and practice . the kills that help. one gain their love. 

They did not benefit....

I remember once receiving a message on my mobile phone which read: “Dear Sheikh, what is the ruling on suicide?"

I called the sender to find a very young man on the other end of the line. I said, "I am sorry, I didn't understand your question. Can you please repeat your question?"

He said with a grieving voice, "The question is clear. What is the ruling on suicide?"

I decided to surprise him by saying in response something unexpected, so I said, “It is recommended!"

He screamed, "What?!"

I said, "How about if we discuss the best way for you to do it?"

The young man fell silent. I said to him, "OK. Why do you want to commit suicide?"

He said, "Because, I can't find work. People do not love me. In fact, I am an utter failure....  and thus he began to relate to me his long story in order to prove that he had failed to develop his interpersonal skills and was unsuccessful in utilizing his talents. This is a problem with many people. Why do some of us feel inferior? Why do we look at those at the peak of the mountain while thinking of ourselves as unworthy of reaching that peak as they have, or even climbing it as they did?

The one frightened of climbing mountains forever lives in the ditches

Do you wish to know who will not benefit from this book, or any other similar book, for that matter?

It is the unfortunate one who surrenders to his own errors and becomes satisfied with his limited skills, and says, “This is my nature. I have become too used to it now; I cannot change my ways. Everyone knows this is how I am.  I can never speak like Khalid does, or have a cheerful countenance like Ahmad has, or be universally loved the way Ziyad is. That would be impossible." I once sat with a very old man in a public gathering. Most of those present were people with the usual skills and abilities. The old man was busy speaking to whoever was sitting next to him. He did not stand out in the crowd for any reason, except by virtue of his old age.

I delivered a lecture and during it mentioned a verdict given by the eminent Sheikh 'Abdul Aziz bin Baz. When I finished, the old man said to me with pride, "Sheikh Ibn Baz and I were colleagues.

We used to study together in a mosque under Shaykh Muhammad bin Ibrahim, about forty years ago:'

I turned around to look at him and noticed that he seemed very happy to share this information with me. He was delighted to have accompanied a successful man once in his life. I said to myself, "Poor man! Why did you not become as successful as Ibn Baz? If you knew the way to success, why did you not pursue it? Why is it that when Ibn Baz passes away, people cry for him from the pulpits, mihrabs, and institutes, and various nations grieve over the loss; yet, when your death comes, perhaps, nobody would shed a single tear, except out of kindness or custom!"

We all may say at some time or another; "We knew so and so and we sat with so and so: 'But this is nothing to be proud of. What one can be proud of is to scale the peak as they did. Be brave and from now on be determined to utilize all the abilities you possess. Be successful. Replace the frown on your face with a smile, depression with cheerfulness, miserliness with generosity, and anger with perseverance. Turn your calamities into occasions of joy and your faith into a weapon!'

Enjoy your life, for it is brief and there is no time in it for anguish. As for how to do this, then this is the reason for my writing this book. So bear with me until the end, with Allah's permission.

You will bear with us if you are brave enough to be determined and persistent on the development of your interpersonal skills, and if you are willing to take advantage of your abilities and talents.

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

From the excellence of one's Islamic to leave that which does not concern him."

How beautiful is this expression, especially if you were to hear it from, the righteous and pure mouth of the Messenger of Allah. May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him! Yes, to leave that which does not concern him!

How many number of people who bother you by interfering a matters that do not concern them?  They bother you when they see your watch, "How much did you buy this for?"

You reply, "This was given to me as a gift" Then they would say, "A gift? From whom?"

You reply, "From a friend. "

He would continue, "Your friend from the university? Or your locality? Or elsewhere?"

You reply, "Well, a friend of mine from the university."

He keeps pressing, "Okay, but what was the occasion?"

You respond, "Well, an occasion, from our university days. "

He then says, "Yes, but what occasion in particular? Gradua­tion? Or when you went on a trip? Or something else?"

He would continue to ask you questions about an utterly worthless matter!

I ask you, by Allah, Wouldn't you feel like shouting at him, saying, "Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!'

And even worse is if he were to put you in an awkward situation by asking you an embarrassing question in public!

I remember, once I was in a gathering with a group of my friends. After the Maghrib prayer, one of my friends mobile phone rang. He was sitting next to me.

He answered the phone,"Yes?"

His wife shouted on the phone, "Hello! Where are you, you donkey?"

Her voice was so loud that I could hear their conversation well.

He said, "I am fine, May Allah protect you'

It seemed as though he had promised her to take her to her family, but became busy with us.

His wife became really angry and said, "May Allah not protect you! You are quite happy to be with your friends all the while I wait for you.
 
By Allah, You Are a Bull!"

He said, "May Allah be pleased with you. I will come to you after 'lshaa"

I realized that his speech did not exactly correspond to hers. There after I realized that he was speaking in this manner in order to save him self from embarrassment.

He then finished his call. I began to look at those present, thinking to myself that one of them will ask him, "Who was that on the phone? What does he want from you? Why did your face change after the conversation?" But Allah had mercy on him; No one interfered in a matter which did not concern them.

Likewise, If you were to visit a patient and ask him about his illness, and he were to reply vaguely, "Alhamdulillah, nothing ma­jor, just minor illness", and such expressions that do not explicitly answer the question, Do not embarrass him by persisting on asking detailed questions, such as, "I am sorry, but what exactly is the illness.

Please clarify what you said" and so on. Why the need to embarrass him?

From excellence of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. I mean, are you really waiting for him to tell you, "I have hemorrhoids", or "I have an injury, in an embarrassing place", etc?

As long as he gave you a vague response, there is no need to ask him for details. I do not mean that he should not question the patient about his illness. What I mean is that one should not ask detailed questions about another illness.

Another example of this is a person who called out to a student in front of all the people in a public gathering, and asked in a loud voice, "Hey! Ahmad! Did you pass?"

Ahmad said, "Yes'

He asked, What percentage? What grade?"

If he truly cared for him, he would have asked him when he was alone. There was also no need to go into details by asking "What percentage? Why didn't you revise? Why weren't you accepted in the university?"

If he was really ready to help him, then he could have taken him to the side and spoken to him about whatever, he liked. But as for displaying his dirty laundry in public, then that certainly was not genuine!

The Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said,"From the excellence of one's Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. "

"However, be careful. Do not make a matter larger than it is."

Once I was traveling to Madinah and was busy delivering a number of lectures. So I agreed with a kind young man to take my two sons, 'Abd ar Rahman and Ibrahim, after 'Asr, to their Qur'an memorization circles, or some summer amusement center, and to return with them after 'lsha.

'Abd ar Rahman was ten years old. I feared that that young man may ask him some useless questions, such as, "What is your mother's name? Where is your house? How many brothers do you have? How much pocket money does your father give you?'

So I warned 'Abd ar Rahman and said, "If he were to ask you an inappropriate question, just say to him that the Prophet Sal’lallah ho’wsalam said, 'From the excellence of one's Islamic to leave that which does not concern him. "'

I repeated to him the Hadith until he had memorised it.

'Abd ar Rahman and his brother then sat in the car with this young man. 'Abd ar Rahman was at the time both very tense and respectful.

The young man said out of kindness,"May Allah prolong your life, 0 'Abd ar Rahman!"

Abd ar Rahman replied, "May Allah prolong your life, too!"

The poor young man wanted to lighten up the atmosphere a bit, so he said, "Is the Shaykh delivering any lecture today?"

'Abd ar Rahman tried to remember the Hadith, but his memory did not help him, so he yelled, "Do not interfere in things that do not concern you!"

The young man said, "I mean, I would just like to attend his lecture and benefit."

'Abd ar Rahman then thought that he was trying to be clever, so he repeated the same response,'

"Do not interfere in things that do not concern you."

The young man then said, "I am sorry, Abd ar Rahman.  But what I mean is... ",

But 'Abd ar Rahman again shouted, "NO! Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!"

They remained on these terms until I returned.

Abd ar Rahman then informed me of the entire story with pride, so I laughed and had to explain the concept to him once again.

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in other ' affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end.