Only pass comment on what is good

Some people are over-zealously in making observations and passing comments.  They do not seem to ever stop praising or being complimentary.  However, as the old saying goes, "When something transgresses the limits, it becomes its opposite", or whoever hurries for something before its due time, is often punished by being deprived thereof.

Do praise things that are beautiful and charming things over which a person feels happy when they are noticed, where he expects admiration and is moved upon hearing words of praise. As for things that people usually feel embarrassed about, or feel mortified upon noticing, then close your eyes to those. Dear brother, he did not ask you for your advice. You are not a professional decorator whose advice should be sought. When the guest finished eating, he said, "Praise be to Allah who fed us, quenched our thirst and made us content with what He has given us. 'For example: - You enter your friend's house and notice that the chairs are very old.  Be careful that you do not become an irritating person who cannot cease to offer his unwanted advice. Be careful and do not let your tongue slip by saying: "Why don't you buy new chairs? Half of the chandelier is not functional.  Why don't you buy a new one? The paint on your wall is peeling! Why don't you paint the wall?"

Remain silent. Perhaps he is not able to change the decoration.

Perhaps he is financially restricted, and so on. None is more awkward than a man who embarrasses people by noticing things that humiliate him, and then rouses the topic and begins to pass comments. Similarly, if his garments were old, or his car AC was not working, then either speak well, or remain silent. They say that a man once visited his friend.  His friend, being the host, gave him bread to eat with oil. The guest then said, "If only there was thyme with the bread!" The host then went to his family and asked for some thyme, but found out that they had none.  He then went out to buy some, but he did not have enough money. The shop keeper refused to sell it to him on credit.  Thus, he came back home, took his utensil with which he made ablution and gave it to the shop keeper as a deposit, so that in case he was not able to pay for the thyme, the shop keeper could always sell the utensil to recover his money.  He then took the thyme and returned to the guest and gave it to him.

The host, upon hearing this, sighed in pain and said, "If Allah really had made you content with what He has given you, and then my ablution utensil would not have been given as a security!" Similarly, if you were to visit a patient, do not say to him, "Oh! Your face has gone yellow! Your eyes seem to be wandering! Your skin is dry!" How strange! Are you! His doctor? Speak well, or remain silent.It is said that a man once visited a patient and sat next to him for a while.  He then asked him as to what was ailing him. The patient told him what is wrong with him, and that his illness was serious. The visitors, upon hearing this, screamed and said: "Oh no! So and so, a friend of mine had the same illness and he died because of it! My brother's friend also caught this disease, and he remained bed ridden until he died! My brother in law's neighbor also caught this disease and died:' All the while, the patient listening to this was about to explode! Formerly, when the visitor finished what he had to say and decided to leave, he turned to the patient and said, "By the way, do you advise me with anything?" The patient said, "Yes! When you finally leave, do not bother ever coming back to me!" If you visit a patient, then do not mention death to him. It is also said that once an old woman's friend, who was another old woman, fell ill.  The old woman would ask her sons, one by one, to take her to her ill friend for a visit, but they would continue to make excuses, until one of the sons finally agreed to take her. So he took her in his car. When they arrived at the house, the old woman got out of the car while the son waited. 

The old woman then visited her friend to find that she was completely be set by her illness. She greeted her and prayed for her.

When she began to leave, she walked for a while in the lobby with her friend's weeping daughters, and said, innocently, "Unfortunately, I can’t come to you whenever I want. Your mother severely ill and it seems that she will die.” So let me say to you now ‘May Allah grants you all an appropriate patience to her death. ’Hence, be careful, O intelligent person! Only pass comment on things that are a source of joy, and not depressing.

A problem, If you were ever forced to comment on something bad, such as dirt on a garment, or a bad odor, then do so tactfully. Be clever and kind while doing so.

Gentleness only beautifies

Gentleness only beautifies

We often comment in amazement at a person, "He is calm, he is un-flustered, and he is composed." When we would like to criticize a person, we would say, "He is hasty ... he is weak..."

Messenger of Allah Peace be Upon Him Said “Gentleness beautifies everything. Harshness disfigures." (Muslim)

It has come in a Hadith, "If Allah decides well for a family, he blesses them with gentleness. If Allah decides evil for a family, he deprives them of gentleness:'

Another Hadith states, "Allah is gentle and loves gentleness, and gives due to gentleness what He does not give to harshness or anything else:' (Muslim)

A gentle person who is easy-going and soft is beloved to all people. People feel comfortable with such a person and trust him, especially if gentleness is accompanied by beautiful speech and the skill of dealing with people correctly.

AI-Imam Abu Yusuf, the judge, was from the most famous Hanafi scholars. He was the most prominent student of Abu Hanifah. Abu Yusuf was very poor during his childhood and his father would forbid him from attending Abu Hanifah's lessons and instead order him to go to the marketplace to earn a living. Abu Hanifah was very keen for him and would reprimand him if he missed his lessons.

One day, Abu Yusuf complained to Abu Hanifah about his father. Abu Hanifah called his father and asked him, "How much does your son earn in one day?"

He replied, "Two dirhams:' Abu Hanifah said, "I will give you two dirhams if you allow him to study:'

Thus, Abu Yusuf studied with his teacher for years. When Abu Yusuf grew into a young man and became distinguished amongst his colleagues, he became afflicted with an illness that left him bedridden. When Abu Hanifah visited him he noticed that his illness was very severe, he became sad and feared that he may die. He left Abu Yusuf saying to himself, "Alas, Abu Yusuf! How I wished that you would serve the people after me!" Abu Hanifah went along dragging his feet to his study circle where his students were waiting. After a couple of days, Abu Yusuf recovered. He took a bath, wore his clothes and went off to attend his teacher's lessons. Those around him asked, "Where are you going?"

"To the Shaykh's lesson", he replied.

They said, "Even now you are studying? You don't need to. Haven't you heard what the Shaykh has said about you?"

"What did he say?" he enquired.

They said, "He has said: 'I wished that you would serve the people after me', meaning, you have acquired all the knowledge of Abu Hanifah, and if the teacher were to die today, you would have sat in his place."

Abu Yusuf felt amazed at him, and went to the Masjid where he saw Abu Hanifah's study circle in a corner, so he went to another corner and began to teach and pass verdicts!

Abu Hanifah noticed the new study circle and asked, "Whose study circle is this?

They said, "Abu Yusuf's."

"Has he recovered?" he asked.

"Yes", they said.

Abu Hanifah then asked, "Why didn't he come to our lessons.”

They replied, "He was informed of what you had said, so he began to teach the people since he isn't in need of you anymore."

Abu Hanifah then thought about how to deal with this case in a gentle manner and came up with an idea to teach Abu Yusuf a lesson. He turned to one of his students and said,"0 so-and-so, go to the Shaykh sitting over there  Abu Yusuf - and say to him, '0 Shaykh! I have a question.' He would be very happy with you upon you asking him questions, for he has only sat there to be asked questions!

Say to him, 'A man gives his garment to a tailor to get it shortened. When he returns to him after a few days to collect it, the tailor denies that he ever had his garment. The man goes to the police to complain, and the police enter the shop and recover his garment for him.

The question is: Does the tailor deserve the payment for shortening the garment or not?'

If he says to you, 'Yes, he deserves it', tell him he is wrong.

And if he says to you, 'No, he does not deserve if, tell him he is wrong,'

The student was pleased to learn this complex question and went off to Abu Yusuf and said,"0 Shaykh! I have a question."

Abu Yusuf said, "What is your question?"

He said, "A man gives his garment to the tailor... ", and before he could finish, Abu Yusuf replied, "Yes, he deserves payment, as long as he has finished his work."

The questioner said, "You are wrong."

Abu Yusuf became surprised and thought about the issue deeply and said, "Actually, he does not deserve payment."

The questioner said, "You are wrong, again."

Abu Yusuf looked at him and said, "By Allah, who sent you here?"

The man pointed towards Abu Hanifah and said, "The Shaykh sent me."

Abu Yusuf stood from his gathering and went to Abu Hanifah's circle and said,"0 Shaykh! I have a question."

Abu Hanifah ignored him. Abu Yusuf then came and sat on his knees in front of the Shaykh, and said with all due respect, "0 Shaykh, I have a question."

He said, "What is your question?"

Abu Yusuf said, "You know what the question is."

"The question about the tailor and the garment?" asked Abu Hanifah.

"Yes", replied Abu Yusuf.

Abu Hanifah said, "You answer the question. Aren't you a Shaykh?"

He replied, "Rather, you are the Shaykh,"

Abu Hanifah then said in response to the question, "We check how much he shortened the garment by. If the garment was shortened to match the man's height, then it means he did the work completely. But then it occurred to him that he should deny having his garment. In this case, he shortened the garment for this man, and therefore he deserves to be paid. But if he had shortened the garment to suit his own height then that means he shortened the garment for himself and therefore does not deserve any payment."

Upon hearing that, Abu Yusuf kissed Abu Hanifah's forehead and remained his student until Abu Hanifah passed away. Only then did Abu Yusuf sit in his place to teach the people. How beautiful is gentleness and how wonderful it is to deal with such issues with tenderness!

The Prophet's anger - if he ever became angry - was always in religious matters. The Prophet Peace Be upon Him never became angry for his own sake. He would only become angry if one of Allah's sanctities was being violated.

Once 'Umar bin al-Khattab may Allah be pleased with him- met a Jewish person. The Jewish person showed him a passage from the Torah, which amazed 'Umar, so he took a copy for himself. He then came to the Messenger of Allah Peace Be upon Him with this passage from the Torah and read it out to him. The Prophet Peace Be Upon Him  realized that 'Umar was taken by the passage and that if the door  was opened up for deriving rulings from previous religions, then their books would become mixed with the Qur'an, thereby leaving the people perplexed. How could 'Umar have gone ahead and made a copy of the passage and written it with his own hands without asking the Prophet Peace Be upon Him?

The Prophet Peace Be upon Him became angry and said, "Are you confused over this, 0 Ibn al-Khattab" meaning, are you doubting my Shari'ah?

He then said, "I swear by the One who has my soul in His Hand, I have come to you with something crystal clear. Do not ask them about anything, lest they inform you of the truth and you reject it, or they inform you of falsehood and you believe in it. I swear by the One who has my soul in His hand, if Musa was alive today, he would have no choice but to follow me."

During the early stages of the Prophet's prophet hood, he used to come to the Ka'bah, whilst the Quraysh would be sitting In their gatherings. He would pray and not pay any attention to them. They would hurt him in many ways, whilst he would bear it all with patience.

One day, the noble ones from Quraysh gathered together and mentioned the Messenger of Allah Peace Be upon Him and said, "We have never come across anything more severe than what we have had to bear from this man. He has declared our views stupid. He has insulted our forefathers. He has condemned our religion. He has disunited our ranks, and insulted our gods. We are truly exasperated with him."

Whilst they were discussing amongst each other, there came the Messenger of Allah Peace Be upon Him and walked to the corner of the Ka'bah in order to touch it for the purpose of tawaf. When he began to make tawaf around the Ka'bah they started to mock him.

The Prophet's complexion changed but his attitude remained calm with them and bore it with silence and continued. When he passed by them the second time, they mocked him again. His complexion changed, but he remained silent and continued with the tawaf. When he passed by them the third time, they mocked him again. He realized that gentleness was not working with such people. He went to them and said, "Pay attention, 0 Quraysh! I swear by the One who has my soul in His hand, I have come to you with slaughter!" The brave Messenger said these words and remained standing, facing them. When the men heard the threat of being slaughtered from the 'most truthful and the most trustworthy one', they jumped up, until every single one sat upright and still, as if a bird was resting on his head, so much so that the harshest of them towards the Prophet ~ began to show him gentleness. They said, "Make your way, 0 Abul-Qasim as a noble man. You were never foolish:' thus, the Prophet Peace Be upon Him made his way. Yes, if it is said to you," be gentle ... ", then say, "gentleness has its place,": For one to be gentle at an inappropriate occasion is considered foolishness, although when one closely studies the life of the Prophet  Peace be upon Him he realizes that he was gentle on most occasions. But be careful!

 We are not calling for weakness and cowardice. We are only calling for gentleness.

Gentleness beautifies everything, harshness disfigures