"Make Marriage easy and Zina Difficult"
Today we are living in society where marriage has became difficult and it is getting more and more difficult. Becuase of this new generation is falling into other side and that is "Zina".
"O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from God, but do (precisely) what they are commanded. [Holy Quran: Tahrim 66: 6]
Remember there is no place for all this in Islam, all this will take you to the fire of hell. This is already spoilling our society and we all answerable to our Allah for our deeds.
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn" Those will be rewarded with the highest place (in Paradise) because of their patience. Therein they shall be met with greetings and the word of peace and respect. Quran 25:74
Marriages in Islam are considered to be a very important Sunnah. But have we ever thought why it is getting so difficult to get married these days. When I thought of this topic, I recalled many people around me who are willing to get married but are not able to.
Problems are many… It is difficult to find the right partner. Even if they find a person with all “characteristics” they are looking for, caste system makes it more difficult.
But the issue which I want to raise is the extravagances done in marriages these days. For a middle-class man with minimal earning, it is the most difficult task to get their daughters and sons married. They start earning and collecting money at the time their daughters are born. The expenses done in different customs and rituals are so huge that it becomes unbearable. And it applies to both, the bride and bridegroom’s side.
When to Marry
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah
We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth (encompasses) all, and he knoweth (knows) all things. An-Nur 24:32
The consequences of not paying attention on this important Hadeeth can be seen very clearly in the society. Modesty is a lost feature now. Dating can be seen as a habit in youngsters. If a youngster does not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, he/she is considered to be very outdated and good for nothing. We are progressing towards a society, where Zina is becoming a very common feature. And all this is because of delay in marriages - which is due to lack of money to spend extravagance in unnecessary rituals. Nowadays, it is easy to indulge in Zina. We have made Zina easier for our youngsters than getting married. If a youngster really wants to follow Shariah, and asks his parents to get him or her married, the answer they get is that ‘We are not in a situation to get you married before one or two years, we need some more time to collect the required money’. And after this if this youngster gets involved in a relationship not allowed by Shariah, whom are you going to blame? Aren’t their parents responsible for that?
Allah commands in the Glorious Quran “And come not near to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).” [Surah Isra (17):32]
Prophet (S) said - Make Marriage easy so that "Zina" (Illegal sex) becomes difficult.
O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other; surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful (of his duty); surely Allah is Knowing, Aware. (Holy Qur'an 49:13)
Prophet Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)Extravagance discouragedNarrated 'Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said; "Blessed is the marriage which does not entail much expenditure." (Bayhaqi)
Whom to Marry
Marry the pious
Hadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "A woman may be married for four reasons; for her property, her rank, her beauty and her religion, so get the one who is religious and prosper." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Virtuous wives are the best Hadrat 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be up upon him) said: "The whole world is a place of useful things and the best thing of this world is a virtuous woman (wife)." (Muslim)
The greatest blessing in the world is a pious wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A Pious Poor Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not PiousHadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated Sahl
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to." Allah's Apostle (saaws) said, "This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth."
Have a look at the girl
Narrated Hadrat Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him): Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said: "Before proposing marriage to any woman, one should have a look at her if possible." (Abu Dawud)
From Abu Hurayrah: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))Accept good proposalsHadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption". (Tirmidhi)
Mahr
The Noble Qur'an 4:4
And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful).
Narrated Hadrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him): Hadrat 'AbdulRahman ibn 'Awf (may Allah be pleased with him) got married and gave his wife gold equal to the weight of a date stone (as Mahr). When Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) noticed the signs of cheerfulness of the marriage (on his face) and asked him about it he said, "I have married and given (my wife) gold equal to a date stone in weight (as Mahr)". (Bukhari)
Narrated Hadrat Sahl bin Sa'd: A woman presented herself to Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) (for marriage). A man said to him, "O Allah's Apostle! (if you are not in need of her) marry her to me." The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said (to him), "What have you got?" The man said, "I have nothing". The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said (to him), "Go and search (for something) even if it were an iron ring." The man went and returned saying, "No, I have not found anything, not even an iron ring, but this is my waist sheet and half of it is for her". He had no Rida (upper garment). The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said, "What will she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing over her and if she wears it, you will have nothing over you." So the man sat down and when he had sat a long time, he got up (to leave). When the Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) saw him (leaving), he called him back, or the man was called (to him) and he said to the man, "How much of the Qur'an do you know (by heart)?" "I know such and such suras (by heart)", said the man naming the suras. The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said, "I have married her to you for what you know of the Qur'an". (Bukhari)
Marriage Is A Basis For Blessings 1. The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam has stated, "Marriage is the basis for blessings and children are an abundance of mercy." There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Whoever chooses to follow my tradition must get married and produce offspring through marriage (and increase the population of Muslims) so that on the day of resurrection I shall confront other Ummah (nations) with the (great) numbers of my Ummah. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Verily, the most perfect amongst believers in faith is he who is the best in manner and the kindest to his wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Marriage fulfils half of the religionHadrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." (Bayhaqi)
Behave best towards wivesHadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has an excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives. (Tirmidhi)
Acts to be Avoided
We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them. " (Abu Dawood)
Today we are living in society where marriage has became difficult and it is getting more and more difficult. Becuase of this new generation is falling into other side and that is "Zina".
"O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from God, but do (precisely) what they are commanded. [Holy Quran: Tahrim 66: 6]
- Keep marriage as simple as possible and less expensive.
- Avoid Haram in the marriage.( Photography, video, music and dancing)
- Dowry - Father of the girl pays to boy and his family - which may include all kinds of material given in the name of gift.- TV, Car, bike, home, gold what ever you name and it is not islamic. Stop it ....... it is not Islamic and Haram
- Bidda - Haldi and other local rituals before and after marriage. Dancing by girls. Stop it ....... it is not Islamic
- Material given to parents of boy and girl in the name of gift ( cloth, money etc). Stop it ....... it is not Islamic
Remember there is no place for all this in Islam, all this will take you to the fire of hell. This is already spoilling our society and we all answerable to our Allah for our deeds.
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn" Those will be rewarded with the highest place (in Paradise) because of their patience. Therein they shall be met with greetings and the word of peace and respect. Quran 25:74
Marriages in Islam are considered to be a very important Sunnah. But have we ever thought why it is getting so difficult to get married these days. When I thought of this topic, I recalled many people around me who are willing to get married but are not able to.
Problems are many… It is difficult to find the right partner. Even if they find a person with all “characteristics” they are looking for, caste system makes it more difficult.
But the issue which I want to raise is the extravagances done in marriages these days. For a middle-class man with minimal earning, it is the most difficult task to get their daughters and sons married. They start earning and collecting money at the time their daughters are born. The expenses done in different customs and rituals are so huge that it becomes unbearable. And it applies to both, the bride and bridegroom’s side.
When to Marry
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah
We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth (encompasses) all, and he knoweth (knows) all things. An-Nur 24:32
The consequences of not paying attention on this important Hadeeth can be seen very clearly in the society. Modesty is a lost feature now. Dating can be seen as a habit in youngsters. If a youngster does not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, he/she is considered to be very outdated and good for nothing. We are progressing towards a society, where Zina is becoming a very common feature. And all this is because of delay in marriages - which is due to lack of money to spend extravagance in unnecessary rituals. Nowadays, it is easy to indulge in Zina. We have made Zina easier for our youngsters than getting married. If a youngster really wants to follow Shariah, and asks his parents to get him or her married, the answer they get is that ‘We are not in a situation to get you married before one or two years, we need some more time to collect the required money’. And after this if this youngster gets involved in a relationship not allowed by Shariah, whom are you going to blame? Aren’t their parents responsible for that?
Allah commands in the Glorious Quran “And come not near to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).” [Surah Isra (17):32]
Prophet (S) said - Make Marriage easy so that "Zina" (Illegal sex) becomes difficult.
O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other; surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful (of his duty); surely Allah is Knowing, Aware. (Holy Qur'an 49:13)
Prophet Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)Extravagance discouragedNarrated 'Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that Allah's Messenger (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said; "Blessed is the marriage which does not entail much expenditure." (Bayhaqi)
Whom to Marry
Marry the pious
Hadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "A woman may be married for four reasons; for her property, her rank, her beauty and her religion, so get the one who is religious and prosper." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Virtuous wives are the best Hadrat 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be up upon him) said: "The whole world is a place of useful things and the best thing of this world is a virtuous woman (wife)." (Muslim)
The greatest blessing in the world is a pious wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
A Pious Poor Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not PiousHadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated Sahl
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to." Allah's Apostle (saaws) said, "This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth."
Have a look at the girl
Narrated Hadrat Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him): Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said: "Before proposing marriage to any woman, one should have a look at her if possible." (Abu Dawud)
From Abu Hurayrah: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))Accept good proposalsHadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption". (Tirmidhi)
Mahr
The Noble Qur'an 4:4
And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful).
Narrated Hadrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him): Hadrat 'AbdulRahman ibn 'Awf (may Allah be pleased with him) got married and gave his wife gold equal to the weight of a date stone (as Mahr). When Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) noticed the signs of cheerfulness of the marriage (on his face) and asked him about it he said, "I have married and given (my wife) gold equal to a date stone in weight (as Mahr)". (Bukhari)
Narrated Hadrat Sahl bin Sa'd: A woman presented herself to Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) (for marriage). A man said to him, "O Allah's Apostle! (if you are not in need of her) marry her to me." The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said (to him), "What have you got?" The man said, "I have nothing". The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said (to him), "Go and search (for something) even if it were an iron ring." The man went and returned saying, "No, I have not found anything, not even an iron ring, but this is my waist sheet and half of it is for her". He had no Rida (upper garment). The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said, "What will she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing over her and if she wears it, you will have nothing over you." So the man sat down and when he had sat a long time, he got up (to leave). When the Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) saw him (leaving), he called him back, or the man was called (to him) and he said to the man, "How much of the Qur'an do you know (by heart)?" "I know such and such suras (by heart)", said the man naming the suras. The Prophet (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said, "I have married her to you for what you know of the Qur'an". (Bukhari)
Marriage Is A Basis For Blessings 1. The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam has stated, "Marriage is the basis for blessings and children are an abundance of mercy." There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Whoever chooses to follow my tradition must get married and produce offspring through marriage (and increase the population of Muslims) so that on the day of resurrection I shall confront other Ummah (nations) with the (great) numbers of my Ummah. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Verily, the most perfect amongst believers in faith is he who is the best in manner and the kindest to his wife. - The Prophet of Islam (saw)
Marriage fulfils half of the religionHadrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) as saying, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." (Bayhaqi)
Behave best towards wivesHadrat Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him) said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has an excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives. (Tirmidhi)
Acts to be Avoided
We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them. " (Abu Dawood)
